Being a hidden atheist is a difficult thing but i do have it easy compared to some others -
i dont pretend to be muslim, dont know when was the last time i prayed u can count in one hand the amount of times i prayed in a mosque (in my lifetime) though i have lived my whole life in male'
funny thing is most people expect me to be a good Muslim, apparently im good, smart & honest so i must be a good Muslim.
The thing with me is i take good even if it comes from the devil & reject evil even if its from god.
This ramadan has been kinda easy due to the political chaos no one has bothered to interrogate me on whether i prayed, i usually pray couple times around the first two day, just so i dont have to lie.
And i have been fasting almost everyday, think its great doing something along with the community, though the late dinner sucks.
The thing that pisses me off is when i have to hold my tongue in a religious conversation, they shoot questions like "how can an eye exist with out it being designed" or "what came first the chicken or the egg"
i could answer this easily but if i do it will lead to evolution then eventually god & i dont like to lie to people so i say nothing & let them bask in the glory of their brilliant question with a scenario that is like playing russian roulette.
the thing that worries me about coming out as an atheist is not the potential death sentence what im more worried about is the blind hatred, when maldivian people hear atheist its gay/christian/jew/partey that name is worse than pedophile in some peoples eyes. so i leave them one string to hold on to "i could believe a god!" that way my loved ones don't have to worry about me getting tortured for eternity & everyone can see me for who i am & not the demonized picture of atheism.